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Friday, 3 September 2010

image for Prince Charles: "Wear More Old Clothes!"
Prince Charles: the master of disguise!

Prince Charles has urged the public to wear more recycled clothes in an attempt to reduce the world's carbon footprint.

In order to put (very little) money where his mouth is, Chaz regulary shops,incognito of course, in numerous High Street charity shops.

In order to maintain his privacy Chaz quite often leaves the Rolls Royce and Camilla at Buck House and cycles around the London Boroughs on a clapped out ex-midwife's Rayleigh bike, complete with attached whicker basket, which he picked up at 'Age Concern' for £4.99 sans saddle! The deception is further enhanced by his predilection to dress in his late Grandmothers old clothing and to wear one of Camillas unwashed wigs.

To date, he has only been 'rumbled' once, more by accident really. Having made the mistake of stopping off at an Oxfam shop in the Ballspond Road, Chaz spotted a snappy pair of stained, open crotch bloomers-circa 1943-on display for 75p. Having asked the aged shop assistant, a Ms Agatha Groins,89, if he might first 'try them on' she directed him to a small makeshift changing room in the back of the shop.

Quickly raising his heavy tweed skirt and pulling down his late Grans corduroy tights in order to try the bloomers on, Chaz tripped over resulting in him spilling out of the changing room in full sight of the elderly clientele. This in itself would not have been a problem had he not decided to go commando that very morning! Thus, as he rolled backward, legs semi-akimbo, he exposed his meat and two veg to all insundry whilst frantically attempting to pull up his tights.

Ms Groins immediately dialled 999 on her state of the art Iphone and also requested three Ambulances to deal with the numerous elderly women who had fainted in her shop.

Fortunatly, whilst he was not actually recognised by Ms Groins, or the Police for that matter, Chaz was cautioned by PC Percy 'Veronica' Thrust, himself a sympathetic closet transvestite, and told to, 'keep it neat' next time! Prince Charles hastily mounted his bicycle, straightened his wig and peddled off to the closes Primark store he could find

Kay Burley has contacted Oxfam to ask if the open-crotch bloomers are still available for purchase?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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