Foreign Secretary, William Hague, made his first public appearance today, after the resignation of his "special adviser" over rumours of a gay relationship between the two.
"We didn't have any kind of romantic relationship. I'm not a romantic person full stop!" Said the exasperated Hague; he continued, "Did we share a hotel room? Yes. Did we share a bed? No. Did we share a shower? ... well... yes, we did, but that was only for water-saving purposes."
Hague's adviser, 25 year old Chris Meyers, earned £30,000 per year during the election campaign- despite being no more than a driver.
Hague was asked if the inflated salary was appropriate; "Yes. Of course. He drove me all the way to Brighton every Friday night to meet my... friends... and he frequently took me to buy eye shadows for my... mother... "
After the scandal broke, Hague apparently told Meyers he was, "In too deep."
This can be verified by members of the hotel cleaning staff who heard Hague screaming this at 3am.
Prime Minister, David Cameron, broke his silence over the scandal and said he was, "firmly behind Hague." A claim, which has unfortunately only helped to fuel the fire.