Written by Horace Thomas
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Topics: Government, Hospital

Wednesday, 16 July 2003

The Government has published it's Star ratings for hospitals. The stars range from zero stars (this hospital is full of infections and riddled with bureacracy) to three stars (this hospital is riddled with more infections and full of mind boggling bureacracy).

The Health Secratary was quick to praise those hospitals with zero stars. He said: "The hospitals that have been awarded zero stars have done a fantastic job, however, a zero rating, which is the equivalent to a rating for a BBC repeat in the TV times, is not good enough. I expect to see these hospitals neglecting more patients, wasting more money, creating more jobs with meaningless titles and paying administrators loads more money".

He had this to say about those hospitals with three stars:

"Clearly there is a problem here, if these star ratings actually meant anything then it would be wonderful, but they don't, so I have no further comment.

The conservatives were quick to harang the star ratings. Ian Duncan Smith, the conservative leader, said:

"How much longer can this government continue to fool the public". Well, they've done a good job of it for six years.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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