London - (Encrypted Mess}: The codes controlling mastery of the UK/US Echelon computerised satellite surveillance brain are notoriously impossible to hack.
Weekend Red Top speculation that dead MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams had cracked the protocols have gone down like a lead baloon in Langley, West Virginia.
The curiously-named President George Herbert Bush Center For Intelligence (sic) CIA HQ is in uproar amid reports the breach occured circa May 2008.
Additionally, for once in the surveillance giant's 20-year history the breach hasn't been sourced to the Russians.
The software system which controls download and dissemination of commercial satellite trunk communications intercepts had apparently been leeched in a nanosecond window of opportunity linked to Peter Mandelson's mobile.
Off Sardinia's balmy waters Labour's Prince of Darkness was tanning his gaunt machiavellian limbs on Brunei Prince Jefri Archer's ocean going yacht Tits when the news broke this week.
A reported five SIM cards, laid out neatly in Williams' Alderney Street apartment, gave away the deadly secrets of Labour politicians' rise to sudden and inexplicable immense personal wealth.
Created after the Cuban Missal Crisis of 1962 when the Rastzinger cabal made its move towards total world domination Echelon was designed to monitor the military and diplomatic communications of the USSR and its Eastern Bloc puppets.
During the Bush/Blair kleptocracy years NATO intelligence sources said Echelon came under Mafia control for large-scale commercial theft, international economic espionage and invasion of privacy purposes linked to offshore bank accounts owned by George W Bush and Tony Blair.
Since January 2009 the Obama Adminsitration has regularly been assured no further compromises of Echelon protocols have occured.
However, since the mid-May 2010 UK Con-Lib coalition government came into existence evidence of systematic hacking of the security locks has taken place.
And in a further twist it was revealed today that the entire Echelon hacking operation was itself under intensive surveillance from a UK Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency laptop.
"We must consider the possibility that a number of high profile cadavers will come to light soon after the August holiday period," a police source commented.