Written by Monkey Woods
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Saturday, 28 August 2010

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Horses running fast

Shergar, the record-breaking racehorse that disappeared from stables in Ireland in 1981, has been found in a wheelie bin in Coventry. He had been dead for some time, say experts.

Winner of the 1981 Epsom Derby by a record 10 lengths, the victory earned him a spot in The Observer newspaper's 100 Most Memorable Sporting Moments of the Twentieth Century, but better was to follow, as he was also named in their 100 Most Memorable Disappearances of the Twentieth Century after he was stolen from the Ballymany Stud, near The Curragh in County Kildare, Ireland, in February 1983, by masked gunmen.

His body was never discovered. Until this morning, that is.

Police officers checking wheelie bins for indiscriminate disposal of household pets, came across the rotted beast at an address not a million miles away from where cat-hater Mary Bale hangs out, and immediately obtained a search warrant. On looking in her wardrobe, they found a mask, leading them to believe that, what with the horsey remains and the mask, she must, indeed, have been the perpetrator of the heinous 1981 crime.

Police say they are combing the area for more gruesome discoveries, and haven't ruled out the possibility that they will pin them all on Mrs Bale.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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