Wigan Athletic chairman, Dave Whelan, was stunned after discovering the true nationalities of his playing staff. Whelan, a former Miss Blackburn and owner of DFS Fitness Warehouse, downloaded the popular Google Earth application to see if his own head could be seen from space only to find that 27 of the players at Wigan (or 124%) were 'foreign'.
Whelan had previously suggested that non-UK players were ruining the English game and threatening the success of the national side. He also stated that Wigan Athletic would never have a foreign manager before recruiting foreign sounding Roberto Martinez who later claimed his real name was Robert Martin and that he was born in a flat above Greggs in Nuneaton.
Following Whelan's find the transfer of striker Prince BooBooChocco-Latte has been put on hold.
Off the field Wigan have confirmed that George Michael has been suspended from his position as official team coach driver. "Turns out he's Greek," said an official.