Written by Jeremy Paxman
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Thursday, 26 August 2010

image for Grubby Arthur Scargill Sacked by National Union of Mineworkers
Thatcher: "Good riddance you baldy corrupt twat"

In what must surely be a humiliating blow, slapheaded communist, Arthur Scargill, has been sacked by his own union - the National Union of Mineworkers.

Thanks to his failed leadership during the 80's miners strikes, fatcat hands-in-the-till Scargill single-handedly destroyed the entire mining industry which caused untold misery to thousands of miners and their families. The NUM only has about 5 members left in the UK anyway which must be even more of a slap to the coal-face for Scargill.

During the 80's, Scargill fought for the miners rights to be able to take sickies whenever they liked, work to rule, guarantee not only themselves but their children jobs for life and basically ensure they were able to do whatever they liked to be able to ensure the profitability of the UK coal industry was undermined. When Thatcher rightfully fought to protect the industry - and remove the strangehold of bitter unions destroying mining in the UK - Scargill spearheaded an ill advised crusade that ultimately put the nail in the coffin for mining in Great Britain.

Thanks to Scargill (who had been looking for any excuse to strike since becoming NUM President) and despite months of violent picket line fighting with police (which included the brutal murder of innocent taxi driver David Wilkie), the striking miners went back to work after a year with nothing to show for it. Within a decade most of the pits in Britain had been closed. There are now less than 10,000 coal miners in the UK and the NUM, once half a million strong, has just 1,600 members left.

Feel no sympathy for multi-millionaire union boss Scargill though - he had recently demanded that union leaders pay him a concessionary fuel benefit that had been stopped for all other members and demanded they pay out £2,000 to pay for an alarm system at his mansion. The champagne socialist had also been criticised for continuing to charge the tiny union £33,000 a year for his luxury penthouse in the City of London with its stunning river views (he's so far claimed over £250k for this alone). All of this on top of a huge salary, gold plated pension, expenses and numerous other benefits - all of which the miners whose lives he destroyed are unlikely to themselves enjoy.

Margaret Thatcher was reported to have literally pissed herself laughing upon hearing the ironic news.

However, given his record of failure, corruption and grubby behaviour - expect Scargill to be made a peer in the House of Lords sometime soon. Either that or be sent off to the enjoy the gravy train in the EU with the likes of the Kinnocks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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