Written by IainB
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Tuesday, 24 August 2010

image for Derek Acorah is the new face of vegetarianism
The honourable Celery Stick of Office

The Vegetarian society, based in Altrincham, Cheshire, has a new public face in the form of Jolly Good Egg, and psychic medium, Derek Acorah.

Although not a vegetarian himself, the Vegetarian Society believes that Acorah is the man for the job, as he embodies a lot of what it is to be vegetarian.

"He has a different perspective on life," said Carly Flowers, Ceremonial Celery Holder for the Society. "That meshes very nicely with our own slanted perspective that all meat is murder."

Additionally, the Society have pointed out that Acorah is unwelcome at most dinner parties, and a lot of people point to him as a freak of nature.

"On top of this," said Flowers, he looks ill all the time as well. Also, he deals with matters not of the flesh world, which is something at the society that we admire."

Acorah himself is said to be over the moon to be the face of the Vegetarian Society, and is even considering giving up meat in their honour.

"Although he really loves bacon," said a close friend via Joe Power the other Scouser medium, "so it will be a big wrench if he gives up eating little piggies."

The previous Face of the Vegetarian Society, Jasper Carrot, is livid at being displaced.

"I even changed my name for the ungrateful gits," he said. "I don't see him becoming Derek Alfalfa any time soon, do you?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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