In a shock announcement this afternoon, a local man admitted, in broad daylight, in front of customers and staff at a local shop that he had done nothing of significance all day long.
Shopkeeper, Mrs Agoraki, who was behind the counter of the corner shop in Goat Lane, Enfield, said 'I couldn't believe that he just came right out and said it. He walks into the shop, buys half an ounce of baccy and as he gets his money out to pay, he just comes right out with it and says it, "I aint done nuffin' all day" he says, bold as brass. Then he laughs and says, "me girlfriend is away innit" and just walks out with his change what I gave him.
What is the world coming to?'
The ergophobic individual with the erstwhile amore was unavailable for comment.