Written by j.w.
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Topics: Economy, Money

Thursday, 19 August 2010

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Cold and old

Leaders of the Grey Economy are advising people 'of a certain age' to stop saving and spend.

Not only will this help to revive the ailing economy it will mean they can apply for all the benefits being taken away because they have too much saved to qualify for benefits, such as the Heating Allowance, the Bus Pass and Council Tax.

Elderly citizens worried about claiming benefits, as many are, are being encouraged to stop being so shy. 'It is a sure way to beat hypothermia' said Dr Elder an expert in the effect of very cold (or very hot)temperatures on the life chances of the old.

'You don't have to take part in the Government's assisted dying plans' said a newly rebellious seventy year old 'spend your savings and claim benefit if you want to survive.'

Some have questioned this approach. 'If they've saved all this money, they should pay for their own heat' said a Nick Clegg 'The old have to take the cuts like everyone else, except Bankers, of course. They are a special case.'

David Cameron has explained that his pledges to protect the old and vulnerable are still in operation. You just have to be very old and very vulnerable.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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