Written by galgar
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 18 August 2010

David Cameron is at odds with deputy Clegg over the latest proposal to cut child benefit support. In reality Cameron intends to cut the benefit completely, not only to save money but also to lower the unprecedented population explosion caused by uncontrolled invasion, mainly from eastern Europe.

"The bastards are outbreeding us and we can't do a bloody thing about it," he was overheard to say down the pub last night after having one too many. "E.U. membership is the main cause of our troubles because we can't control the inflow of undesirables," also slipped out.

Half a million invaders have already bought tickets on the internet in a rush to leave the country before their money runs out.

One Somali invader complained bitterly that he could no longer maintain his three wives and eighteen children on the basic dole money. Saying, he could make more money by putting them on the bloody streets back home. Apparently such practice is legal over there and quite commonplace.

The scale of the exodus will obviously have no effect whatsoever on the jobs market, but will be quite dramatic in other aspects with less congestion on the roads,less pollution in general and many more council houses available for the needy indigenous population, latterly denied the facility.

Now the question arises, will we still need to pay out so much of our hard won earnings in taxes once the scroungers have all gone back to their countries of origin. Come on David play the bloody game, a small cut in taxation and you'll get more votes than you could ever imagine when the next election comes around. You won't need to demean youreslf by fraternising with Cleggy and Cable and the word labour will be consigned to the rubbish tip where it rightfully belongs.

Go the whole hog and opt out of that ridiculous human rights law the invaders use against us and please give us back that most basic of human rights, the right to discriminate. The animals do it all the time to maintain their purity so why can't we be allowed the same privilege? Don't be frightened by the yanks and their windbag leader.

On a lighter note...there is creature named Obama who sexually assaulted a llama then the beast ram amok and bit off his cock, thus ending the whole sordid drama.

Make galgar's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 2?

9 2 16 24
63 readers are online right now!

Go to top