Written by j.w.
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Monday, 16 August 2010

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Nick Lloyd George Clegg

Nick Clegg, deputy Prime Minister and Liberal Democrat leader, has taken over the top job from David Cameron who is on holiday. It is the first time a Liberal has been acting as Prime Minister since 1922 so these are historic days.

Formerly called the Whigs, due to premature baldness, today Liberals or Liberal Democrats are experiencing power with all its trials and tribulations.

First they have gone to below 10 in the latest Opinion Polls and Clegg is currently rated with a support too small to measure, but thought to be well below 1%. Then the Party is split about how far they have gone to provide a fig leaf for the more unpleasant features of the Conservatives tackle. Thirdly they are being vilified by back bench Tories who view them as totally wet.

Clegg told me he is working on a future where his popularity will increase along with his party. The problem is that the position is difficult and will get worse. 'Why the hell doesn't Cameron get some of the blame' he whined in my ear 'and his ghastly Chancellor Osborne. It is really unfair that I get all the brickbats.' Clegg is paying the price of duping the electorate to vote for policies he has renounced. 'Did they really expect me to keep to my word if there was a chance of Power?' he asked, not expecting a reply.

Meanwhile forces within the Coalition are working on an electoral pact with the Conservatives, where Tories would not stand against Liberal Democrat hopeful in the next election. This would guarantee a Coalition Government for all time. Some might call it a one party State but it will govern in the interests of everyone so everyone should support it. It worked in Russia for decades.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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