Written by Bertram Chapley
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Thursday, 21 April 2005

DOWNING STREET, LONDON - It has today been revealed that the marriage of Tony and Gordon Brown is over and the two are to divorce. Friends of the couple have confirmed that the irreconcilable differences has caused the breakdown. Gordon's friendship with actress Lucy Left is thought to be the root of the problems.

Tony is said to be putting on a brave face but has moved out of their plush London mews house in the sought after Westminster area (see picture). Tony, who's latest production Four More Years is released on May 5th, is said to be getting comforted in the arms of director Alan Milburn (Lancashire Accent, Shaved Off Beard) and has been seen several times in the Granita Restaurant with Alan.

This is where Tony proposed to Gordon about eleven years ago but it would seem that the promises made then have been broken and the relationship has hit rock bottom. Two years ago Tony started an affair with American B Movie actor George W (Dubya) Bush, this affair is said to be still going on and a lot of people have been hurt because of it.

It was thought Tony was easily influenced by Dubya after the American lost two of his houses in tragic circumstances on the same day in September 2001. Dubya played the trump card and the pair tried to sort the problem out by counselling but after that failed they decided to go it alone.

Gordon meanwhile stayed out of the limelight and kept a low profile as he thought the relationship would blow over last November but unfortunately Mr. Bush's flair for cajoling people triumphed again and he his still being mischievous on the sidelines.

However it is said to be the last outing for Tony in the up coming Four More Years and Gordon is a serious contender to take on the roll. This would be the first time a Scot has played the part for many years and he is reported to have said Tony was going to resign from the part before this next film.

Arch villain in this production is being played by Mikey Howard after Ian Duncan Smith was given the roll but resigned it before any filming took place. Billy Hague played the part in the last production after Johnny Major flopped in the 1997 Christ on a Bike, sequel to the 1992 How the Hell Did He Manage That.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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