Written by Bill Licks
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Wednesday, 11 August 2010

image for Ricky Gervais sued over Office sitcom
An office - just like The Office but with a lower case 'o'

Ricky Gervais is being sued by a 45 year old accountant from Bristol over his award winning sitcom - The Office.

Nigel Smallwood claims the sitcom, about the everyday events in an office, was based on an office he used to work in even though Gervais is never have thought to have visited the accountant's place of work.

'My boss was just like Gervais's character David Brent' said Smallwood. 'His name was David and he used to have an office of his own and I think he played the guitar - although that might have been just a bit of office gossip.'

'Then there was this blonde woman who was not bad looking,a little bit overweight but with not very big tits who used to sit over the other side of the office. She was the spitting image of Lucy Davies character Dawn Tinsley and she used to fancy this bloke called Tom... which sounds a bit like Tim who was that character played by Martin Freeman.'

'Then there was this absolute knob who nobody liked called Gary. He used to take himself really seriously while everyone else was taking the piss out of him. He didn't work in my office though, he was just some bloke who used to go down my local pub but he was just like Macenzie Crook's character from the TV show.'

'And I've also got some finch's in my back garden just like Finchy, that rep who was best mates with David Brent until that Christmas special when Brent told him to fuck off after he called his bird a dog or something.'

A spokesman for Gervais has denied the claims and read out a statement from the Hollywood star.

'Accountants.... eh? What do they know about comedy?

I met an accountant once. Yeah. Boring cunt. Yeah. I asked him what he liked about his job and he said he loved working with figures.

So I said to him 'I like working with figures too mate but the figures I like working with are Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell. You know what I mean?

Not that I'd want to work with Naomi Campbell mind.

I can imagine if I was sat next to her in the office and I let her borrow my stapler or something then she probably wouldn't fucking give it back again because she claimed I gave it to her as a gift.

I'd have nothing left on my desk. She'd have my post-it notes, my highlighters even my Iphone charger - if I had one. Not that I'd ever get one mind. An Iphone that is not a Naomi Campbell.....

Am I getting paid for this? I might even use this routine for my next big stand up tour. ....'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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