DOWNING STREET: The Cam-Clegg coalition has proudly announced the appointment of Mahatma Gandhi as Head of the School Nutrition Council.
Speaking to reporters PM Dave-Cam said: "As you know I recently went to India with my begging bowl. I met with Mahatma Gandhi who was amazed that my bowl matched his bowl. He asked me if that was what I ate from".
The PM said he asked the Great Man if he had any pearls of wisdom for him to which the Mahatma responded:
"I believe in equality for everyone except reporters and photographers"
Following this epiphany the PM offered the Mahatma the position of UK School-Food Monitor to which the Mahatma chuckled: "I think it would be a good idea".
Indophile Vince Cable said: "The Coalition govt believes this will go a long way in taking Britain's future generations from mass morbidity and obesity to the genuine Gandhian version of ascetic emaciation"