Following the recent playground antics of Jet Blue ladyboy Steven Slater, Tomkins Holidays today announced plans to convert their fleet of planes into a children's wonderland.
Research shows that with the government banning children from playing in parks, families are keen to ensure they have access to similar facilities when on holiday. With this in mind an additional 2 hours has been added to each flight time to enable children under the age of 35 to slide down the emergency play chutes.
First in line on the 03.40 flight from Stansted to Kraponia in Greece was 34 year old Jack Twat travelling with his mum Kat and dad Matt. Unfortunately when Twat Jnr jumped out of the plane he fell 25 feet onto the tarmac, breaking both ears. Had he read this article, he would have known that the plans have only just been announced so, logistically, it was mathematically impossible for the play chute to have been installed.