TheSpoof.com has acquired exclusive access to the fully "sexed-up" dossier, as amended by Alistair Campbell MP.
The seriously 'dodgy' dossier revealed that Saddam Hussein was able to "whip-out" and use what he likes to call his WMD within just 45 minutes, exposing the world to a cocktail of lethal chemicals.
Top secret photographic footage was also included in the dossier showing Mr. Hussein in various positions and poses. It is also revealed that the ba'ath party is not a political group, but infact a weekly ritual involving orgies in large Ancient Roman style bath houses.
We are led to believe that the alterations made in this dossier were condemned by Mr. Blair, and that all photographic evidence of Saddam with his WMD were confiscated and taken home by the PM.
TheSpoof was unable to obtain an official comment, so we asked a large drunk man, Mr. Jeff Prescott (62), who was skulking around No. 10, for his opinions.
"I think it's bloody disgraceful," began Mr. Prescott. "To think, the public was thrown a pack of lies in a document about chemical and biological, weapons when the only real weapon of mass destruction that Saddam has, he keeps down his pants. Well, Mr. Blair's lost my vote next time round, I'll tell you that for nowt."
Following: Two snippets from the EXCLUSIVE sexed-up dossier: