Written by Noshing Mink
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Topics: David Cameron

Tuesday, 10 August 2010

image for Prime Minister David Cameron claims he is "just an ordinary sharp elbowed middle class person with £30 million"
David Cameron - "sharp-elbowed man with £30 million"

In between slashing and cutting the wastrels of government expenditure and separating a few million people from their jobs, Prime Minister David Cameron announced that he is "just an ordinary sharp elbowed middle class person with £30 million".

The bizarre comment, which was made to an audience in Manchester, comes close on the heels of other comments he has made in recent weeks, including suggestions that the Pakistani government supports terrorism, Iran already has nuclear weapons and Britain was America's "bitch" during the Second World War.

Cameron, who looks a bit like the cartoon character Tintin, except that he has £30 million more than his double, didn't explain why his elbows won't bend, though it is believed that this orthopaedic anomaly may explain why he is apparently unable to wear a jacket when he appears in public, instead resorting to a white shirt.

Meanwhile, gay cowboy friend and Deputy Dawg Nick Clegg, who remains in denial about his party selling itself to the Tories for a small amount of power and a job for Vince Cable, was noticeably silent, though he did appear to be able to bend his elbows fully, demonstrating this by firmly shutting his front door to reporters.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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