Written by j.w.
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Topics: Cats

Tuesday, 10 August 2010

image for Cats Mia & Naomi in International Row
Nelson, the legendary cat

Two of the most beautiful cats in the world, known as Mia and Naomi, have been keeping not only Holland, where they are in conflict, but the whole world, awake with loud caterwauling.

The reason for their conflict is due to Naomi getting a present from an unknown Tom cat. Mia says that the Tom is a notorious feral cat named Charlie, who has been known to gnaw off the legs of opponents in fights. Naomi simply doesn't know where her present came from, because she is always getting presents from admirers and has lost count of them and doesn't keep a list of the fans.

The world interest in these divergent cat tails stems from the fact that Naomi and Mia were once attending a big party along with Charlie and several other well known cats to celebrate the life of a legendary old Lion, named Nelson. Nelson got his name after winning great battles with his foes, just like the Admiral of naval history.

I tried stroking Naomi as she lay purring in the sun. I tickled her under her chin and she lay on her back clearly wanting me to rub her tummy. I thought she might give me a scrap of information but, no, all she did was purr contentedly. Mia, on the other hand, liked being stroked and gave several miaous of pleasure. 'I know it's that Tom Charlie who gave Naomi the present, because she told me so.'

The present in question was a bloody chunk of meat, the finest morsel ever known to the feline family. Naomi says she gave the tasty dish away so that it could go to help young kittens who were being looked after by a friend of Nelson's. Just before Naomi said this Nelson's friend remembered Naomi giving him the present many years ago. He had kept it in his fridge but was happy to pass it on now.

Both Naomi and Mia are upset because the poor little kittens got nothing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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