Unbelievable as it sounds Cambridgeshire Police Force are, if you'll pardon the expression, 'lashing' out £3,000 to issue all female police officers with a 'Shewee'.
For the uninitiated, a Shewee must not be confused with a Tepee- but is in fact a female piss-pot, or essentially a funnel to pee in more easily when on duty!
Originally the idea of a sad muppet named, Willie Leake, a contestant from TV's equally muppet ridden "Dragon's Den" programme, the Shewee comes in a variety of alluring colours. These include, bright pink, puce, tangerine, candy stripe, urine yellow and many many more.
The Shewee basically allows the female officer to relieve herself in an upright position while standing next to her male partners in any urinal without having to pretend she is merely butch or an all out lesbian!
Initial response has been rather mixed to say the least. Many 'seasoned officers' are use to female officers admiring their respective penis' as this has been a perk of the job for years when partnered up with a WPC and parked up in a convenient spot .
However,younger officers who have yet to gain any sort of 'life experience' feel rather embarrassed about displaying their 'meat & two vege' especially when standing next to a more 'mature' female officer in the staff bogs! As PC Tim Burr, 21, told our reporter;"It would be like having a piddle or a hand shandy while yer Mum was watching, sorry it gives me the shivers just thinking about it...shit, I've wet meself again!"
A spokesperson for the Federation of Asian officers, Ramit Atem, said: "we are thinking it great idea, yes please, once the WPC memsahibs have seen our cobras rearing their magnificent heads we will being able to sue the Police for many £millions for 'invasions of our privvies'!"
Chief Inspector Dick Bender, the brains behind the entire exercise commentated thus, "Me, myself, personally, like fink it is the right direction to be moving, after all this is the 21st bleedin' Century innit, and we are all adults here ain't we not?" Besides which, Mr Leake is me brother-in-law so we'll be splitting any profits from expected expansion of the Shewees 50-50, evening all!"
WPC Emma Royds was extremely pleased about the introduction of Shewees, I love the feel of anything between my legs darling and the thought of having a funnel up my canyon on an eight hour shift will save me a fortune on batteries as I can do away with the rampant rabbit. Besides which, me and the other girls can't wait to compare the lengths of the various trucheons we'll be able to see while taking a leak with the lads. The thought of following a brother' into a public convenience on the pretence of needing a pee and 'shaking him down' unecessarily is really exciting as I hear they are all exceptionally well hung?" We have not been able to locate a spokesperson for the Federation Of Black Officers yet but we are sure they will not be complaining man.
Due to her secretary being hearing impaired Kay Burley took delivery of a Tepee this morning and is finding it extremely uncomfortable to wear in her open crotch briefs!