Written by Everyman
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Sunday, 8 August 2010

image for Paul the Octopus is rubbish says Sammy the Soothsaying Sardine
Sammy the Sardine "seas" a great future for himself

The furore over the ability of Paul the Octopus has come to an abrupt end with the discovery of an even more brilliant sea living creature.

Sammy the Sardine - known as the Soothsayer - has developed a complex predictive computer model system which allows him to predict the precise weather patterns over Northern France and Belgium for the next six months. Sammy, who is a fellow of St Peter's College, Oxford, has kept a low profile until now. He lives in a specially created aquarium which is equipped with a keyboard that allows him to tap his brilliant hypotheses with his tail, one key at a time.

Slowly, Sammy told us: "It is not easy for a fish to get to Oxford and to be taken seriously. Everyone knows when it comes to getting into Oxford for a fish it is all about your school."

Sammy's expertise lies in his computer programming ability. When asked what language he used he replied - "Well the big blue C of course"

This apparently was funny for sea going computer geeks - but left us a bit cold.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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