Apparently, French Prime Minister Nicolas Sarkozy, is spitting bullets at the leaked news concerning his love rival, Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi, 73! Quite apart from having a better name than his Mr Sarkozy is well pissed regarding disclosures of the Italian Stallions pulling and staying power in the bedroom.
According to well respected Italian hooker and political candidate, Maria Teresa De Nicolo, 38 (who also has a nicer name than Mr Sarkovy) old Silvio regularly has 'threesomes' and sometimes even 'foursomes'with many of her younger workmates, while at least a dozen more are 'on call' should the old boy fancy seconds and thirds. Seemingly, this latest shagfest took place at Mr Berlusconi's luxurious Palazzo Grazioli residence in Rome...which is also nicer sounding than Nics pad on the Rue de Morgue just outside Paris!! Ms De Nicolo states; "I wassa passing Silvio's bedrooma doora on my waya to hava a pissa ana watta I see, there wasa old Silvio humping five girls in a row doggie style, I tella you the mana e easa a sexy machino knowwa douta bouta eet!"
Upon hearing this news Nicolas is reported to have flown into a hissy fit and summoned Carla from her crocheting lessons and ordering her to call some of her old female 'friends' for a mega shagfest weekend. A reliable and very sexy French maid, Mimi Quimme, overheard this conversation and told us; "Oui monsieur, e' go total ballistic at Ms Carla, e' order her to arrange magnifico orgy no expense spared, e' plan one up on ze eytie bastard he scream, eet was terribles an ze language, mon dieu eet make ze sailor blush!"
Another reliable source informs us that Mr Sarkozy had sent invitations out to other European leaders asking them if they would like to attend.
To date the response has been pretty abysmal, mainly on account that Carla Bruni is not, as was anticipated, on the sexual menu! It appears that David Cameron would have loved to attend but was a bit strapped for the Eurostar Rail fare, and being a man of principle he would not put it on expenses as the country is already bankrupt. Therefore, He diplomatically declined and settled for a autographed full frontal nude photo of Carla.
The Spanish PM Jose' Luis Rodriquez Zapatero, who definately has a better name than Nics, could not be arsed to attend as he is currently watching endless repeats of the Spanish World Cup victory match and is happy to get his rocks off every time they score that winning goal!Meanwhile, German PM Angela Merkel, who does not have a better name than Mr Sarkozy, denied that she was a lesbian and therefore tore up the invitation. At time of going to press, Mr Sarkozy is still awaiting replies from his opposite numbers in Belgium,Denmark, Luxemberg and many others. It is understood that when told of this latest revelation Silvio Berlusconi replied, "bollocks to that French midget, not only have I screwed his wife a dozen times but have booked Lady Ga Ga for the weekend....and she won't be singing baby....if you catch my drift, see if he can top that one!"
Kay Burley admitted today that she swings both ways and is frantically bidding for Mr Camerons unused invitation on Ebay!