Written by Stevey G.
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Topics: The Spoof

Wednesday, 4 August 2010

image for TheSpoof.com 1* Bandit may have Accomplice.
Spoof bandits now hunting in pairs?

Our report yesterday painted a very depressing picture of the infamous 1* 'Bandit'. A depraved individual who hovers in cyber-space, appearing periodically only to award fictitious news stories a paltry 1*.

We have now discovered evidence that there may not be one, but two individuals and that they may indeed be colluding, both on and off the internet.

Renowned psychological profiler Prof. Charles Chingford OBE, who has been following the case closely, says that this comes as no surprise to him.

'As I stated yesterday, the person or persons involved are likely to be of below average intelligence. However they will believe this not to be so. The profile is similar to serial killers, who often work in pairs in order to boost their own self confidence. This is often vital as ordinarily these people suffer from very low self esteem'.

Prof. Chingford goes on, 'The person, or persons, will almost certainly have a history of child abuse, bed- wetting and possibly animal abuse. They will have developed a dependancy on pornography from an early age. In joining forces they can share their excitement and will possibly also meet in person to discuss strategy'.

'If so there will almost certainly be a 'dominant' and a 'passive' partner and one may have become the 'sex-slave' of the other.

Prof. Chingford has noted with despair their increasing activity on the web-site and fears that there is little that can now be done.

'These people desperately need help', he commented 'or I fear that their addiction is likely to get out of hand.
They need to realise that they are mentally ill before it's too late.' he concluded.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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