Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 31 July 2010

image for Ian Huntley To Sue Prison Service For £100,000
Aaarrgh! Tell Them To Stop Hitting Me! - Who Said That?

In one of the most bizarre cases in the annals of the British legal system, it has been revealed that double-child murderer Ian Huntley is to launch a lawsuit against HM Prison service on the grounds that officers of said organisation were negligent in permitting him to get the occasional kicking from fellow inmates.

Available information would appear to suggest that HM Prison Service has actually succeeded in keeping one of the country's most reviled individuals alive, through hunger strikes and suicide watches, and if the stories are to be believed, he is now to sue the very people who kept him alive because he endured a beating or two.

For £100,000 of taxpayers money.

In what appears to be a concerted attempt to not necessarily win a legal case (If he does get damages, he's hardly likely to blow the money on a world cruise, considering his current location) but to ensure greater personal protection whilst incarcerated.

Which is blatantly taking the piss.

One ex-prisoner told Skoob News:

"Sue them? He must be having a laugh! He's a sick bastard mate. That's all he is. Even I'm fucking outraged by this. Those two little girls he killed, or their families - they can't sue that wanker. If it was up to me, I'd bounce his fucking head off the walls every day and plead like he did in court - that it was an accident. This is the biggest piss take I've ever heard of."

A sentiment strongly echoed by - of all people - Skoob Entertainment News correspondent, Buffty Ginslinger, who said simply:

"Ian Huntley? The child killer? Don't even mention that name to me. The man's a cunt. End of story."


More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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