Written by Hefton Plates
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Tuesday, 8 July 2003

An African-origin pensioner, currently not serving any time in prison despite having murdered five white children in his fifties, has died from natural causes aged 82. Police say that the death was almost certainly racially motivated as it ocurred in Leeds, and have immediately set about arresting any white person in Yorkshire. "They're all potential perpetrators" said a police spokeswoman.

"We've got to be seen to be tackling the racial tensions in the area at the moment" she continued. "Even though it's those fucking wogs who just go about, setting fire to curry houses and raping kids, the whites are probably egging them on. "

The death of the pensioner is the third this year; two other black OAPs have already been found slumped in front of the television, having died in their sleep.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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