In a bid to become even more popular than the Beatles 'When I'm 64' and to defy the slogan 'The Good Die Young' the Government is to make sure people at 65 do not have to retire.
In this devastating move not only are we on our way to solving the unemployment problems but we are also avoiding having to pay pensions for as long as possible. In addition the taxes of those over 65 working will help to stave off the economic catastrophe left by the last Government.
David Cameron, who has at last escaped the clutches of his groupie Nick Clegg to be grasped by the hand of Vince Cable, spoke from Turkey or India or Pakistan - no one is sure which, declaring 'We are determined to eliminate discrimation in the work place. As a Government we are fighting discrimination by not allowing too many foreigners into the country - in that way, as I have explained to the poor people of Turkey, India and Pakistan - we can maintain our record on human rights.'
The business team holidaying with Cameron are finding 'somewhere different' is quite acceptable as the emancipated slaves bow and scrape before them. Chancellor George Osborne has found the break is not quite the same as he experienced on a yacht off the Riviera with Peter Meddlesome but he nonetheless found time to crack a joke or two with the pack of journalists hanging on his every word. 'I've been finding a few jokes on the internet by that fabulous comedian with the mysterious initials j.w.,
who is most entertaining. I especially like his knock knock jokes and always give them a maximum five stars.' To the amazement of an admiring audience he asked : Knock knock who's there? To which he replied Pete. 'Pete who' chimed the throng of excited press people pressing to catch the reply : 'Petering out!' he exclaimed 'my friend Peter, Prince of Darkness would like that one.'
'My God, what brilliant humour you can find on the internet' reported one journalist doubled over in laughter 'there is still hope for this troubled world.'