Written by GutterMutter
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Topics: David Cameron, India

Wednesday, 28 July 2010

image for PM Spotted Busking in Bangalore
Threw up in an alley

DAVID Cameron's trade trip to India was in crisis this morning following lurid reports of a drink-fuelled ministerial busking session down a back alley in Bangalore.

The Prime Minister is leading the biggest British trade delegation to India since we cut them loose back in 1947.

But the delegation is understood to have received short shrift from its hosts who are understood to be a 'a tad peeved' over the Brits' night-time behaviour.

At a hurriedly-convened press conference this morning, British officials denied reports of excessive behaviour but a member of the delegation, who wished to remain anonymous, said: "I definitely saw DC singing on the sidewalk outside the hotel last night.

"He was doing George Formby numbers while Vince Cable pestered passers-by with a tambourine and an up-turned flatcap.

"Their rendition of "Mother, 'What'll I do Now?' was particularly tuneless."

A Foreign Office spokesman refuted the allegations though, saying: "I refute these allegations," but Indian trade minister Amal McIndian was apoplectic.

"I cannot believe the disrespect. First of all the British delegation were, I believe, drunk when they arrived.

"Then they kept asking if we had any 'vindaloos', whatever they are, before drinking more and hurling derogatory insults at members of the Indian cabinet.

"Then they threw up everywhere and to top it all, they completely murdered George Formby. Unbelievable.

"It's a disgrace for people representing their country to behave like this. Is this how British people behave back home?"

In a further embarassing twist it emerged that trade talks during the day had actually collapsed because Cameron and Cable just kept asking their Indian counterparts about the Goan free love scene and whether or not they knew 60's Sitar icon Ravi Shankar.

As we went to press, Downing Street declined to comment.

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