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Topics: Nick Clegg

Monday, 26 July 2010

image for Nick Clegg to be surgically attached to David Cameron
David and Nick to become "Same"-ese twins

Surgeons are today preparing for a world first - the surgically joining together of David Cameron and Nick Clegg. The two men - who will become the first "Same-ese" twins" - were said to be nervous but looking forward to the operation.

"As we have worked together so closely it has become clear that the possibility for synergies was incredible" Said David Cameron."In today's economic climate, we felt it was important to embody (literally) the idea of efficiency savings."

Nick Clegg added: "By becoming one body we will demonstrate just how closely we are now able to work in this new era of politics."

The inevitable question was asked as to which bits of which man would be used. Cameron replied that it has been decided that the humam functions would be divided in proportion to the seats held by each man's party in parliament. "I will have the brain, the heart, the lungs and arms and legs." Said the prime minister. Whereas Nick has been entrusted with waste and reproduction."

"Yes", said the deputy prime-minister "I am going to be the dick and the arse-hole in this coalition". He then paused: "Oh dear, I really haven't thought this through have I?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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