Signs of stress for the Coalition Government are beginning to emerge. Rumours that David and Nicky are not satisfying each other have troubled Tory Backbenchers.
'It's because Nicky is always a bit too wet' said one 'David likes his drier in my experience. And all that slobering about human rights - it's getting David down. If David is down it just doesn't work. I fear the magic of the romance might be over.'
Labout contestants for the leadership of their party are overjoyed. 'None of us wants to see a real partnership working' said a Milliband or two 'but brothers working together are always better than an arranged marriage. The fraternal nature of the Labour tradition means we can put the Blair/Brown crap behind us - where it belongs.'
Meanwhile Gordon Brown is preparing his troops in Africa for a pincer movement. With Scotland in the North and Africa to the south, plus some insurgents with balls in England Brown is envisaging a triumpant comeback. 'I told you so' he told me in relaxed mood 'I warned everyone the Tories would destroy the economy too quickly. We had a sensible plan to take the road to destruction in easy stages.'
Coalition supporters are putting a brave face on these developments. 'We all have our ups and downs' pleaded the unforgetable MP who left the Government because his true feelings kept coming out of his trousers 'as Winston Churchill said "Jaw jaw is better than war war". Perhaps David and Nicky should try that.'