Britain's Sunday newspapers suffered their worst crisis in over eighty years today, as there was absolutely no domestic news worth reporting - especially for the tabloids.
While there were some overseas developments worthy of reportage for the 'quality' broadsheet press, tabloid readers were starved of their usual Sunday morning sex scandals and salacious tittle-tattle as there was literally nothing much going on.
A couple of today's notorious redtops ran banner headlines about one time frozen food chain icon (Kerry Katona) possibly having a bit of a fall out with her boyfriend.
Tragedy struck at the Love Parade dance music festival in Duisburg, Germany, where eighteen revellers were trampled to death in a stampede, and dozens more injured.
But that news wasn't considered to be typical Sunday tabloid fodder because it didn't involve 'celebrities' knobbing one another in dimly lit VIP areas in rip-off night clubs, or spending too much time 'dogging' in municipal car parks.
Tabloid reporter, Slyme Mollusc, told us:
"This is a disaster for the Sundays. Fuck all happened. And this abundance of fuck all happening will have a drip down effect as all the so-called internet satirists just aren't going to be able to leech off the tabs, and we won't be able to plagiarise their stories either. Over all, it's just a fucking disastrous news day."
The so-called satirists were upbeat however, saying that for them it would be pretty much business as usual, as satirical news is all made up anyway.
More as we get it.
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