Call me Dave has had a torrid time in the US. The poor guy must be really exhausted after weeks spent turning the UK upside down and back again.
It must have been exhaustion that made him, mistakenly, bring the USA into WW2 a year before they actually entered the fight. Dear old Churchill must have turned in his grave on learning that Dave thinks of the UK as the "junior partner." Our darling Maggie, nearly suffered a seizure, as she watched Dave on Scry News. She's still alive, you ask? Yes, she had to hang on to see her Tory boys complete her unfinished business.
Maggie will have loved Dave and his Foreign Secretary announce to the world that the Scottish Government were wrong to release the convicted Libyan bomber. Those upstart Scots never did get Maggie and judging by the one and only Tory MP in Scotland they don't get Dave either.
Meanwhile, Scotland's First Minister tells the US Senators to look elsewhere for a fall guy. Well done Alex, stand your ground.
Dave's not a happy chappy. Cleggover calls the Iraq War, illegal, twice, at PMQ's. Ehm Nick, all your coalition partners voted for it, remember?
Speaker Belcrow wet himself. "I could not possibly confirm it but many say, serves you right you bastards!"
George Osborne is off to the Med for a free caviar and vodka cruise. Bon voyage, Georgie boy, enjoy your long hols.