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Friday, 23 July 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - Divorce over teapot
The teapot that caused furore

A Ventnor couple, Julian, 24, and Julie Jules, 24, are to divorce after a row over a teapot.

As reported last week, it was discovered that a teapot with matching cup and saucer left to Julian by his grandmother was a valuable antique Dutch teapot worth eleven pound fifty.

Julian had claimed that they were not going to sell it, but little did he know that Julie had already put it on eBay. Only two days after being interviewed for the IOWN, the teapot sold to a Dubai millionaire called Abu Dabi Dilli Hamner Corsair for twenty pound twenty-nine, and ninety pounds postage and packing. Nearly double the estimated value.

"I'm devastated," said Julian. "Julie went behind my back. Obviously the money would be useful, but that's not the point."

Julie was defiant: "Thirty quid might not sound like a great deal, but that money will be very important to us over the coming year, especially if we decided to try for a baby. Julian has overreacted, I did it for out future."

Such was the force of the argument that the two will now not speak to each other directly, with Julian only speak to Julie through a sign language interpretor and Julie replying via the letters page in the Isle of Wight News. It took a few days, but the two have now decided to divorce with the money from the teapot being split equally between them.

"I'd rather have had the teapot and Julie," said Julian, "but my Granddad has a 1970s gnome collection, how could I trust her with that if he left it to me?"

Julie is rueful. "I wish I'd not sold it now."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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