It has been reported that a Mr Bartholomew 'bart' Cox plans to sue the Police after a cop 'accidentally' discharged 50,000-volt Taser into his knackers! Needless to say, Mr Tingle,79, collapsed, in agony as one electric pin hit him in the right testicle and the other straight into his left. He had been pulled over outside New Look by officers who wrongly suspected him of riding his bike without a back brake. Retired Mr Cox, a closet pervert and uncontrollable masturbator was there to do some shopping he explained: "I am an undies collector and was keen to see what was available in their sale!"
He continued, "I got off my bike and asked the Police what they wanted. The officer didn't say anything, but got out of the car, pulled a Taser out and pointed it at me knackers and let go, it were bloody painful to say least!"
The second officer shouted out 'bloody wanker' and they drove off leaving me doubled up on the pavement. "It took me ages to get home as I had to wheel me bike due to me nuts being so swollen up like a couple of rugby balls!" Mr Cox later sought medical advice for his swollen testimonials and was prescribed two large tubes of KY Jelly and a copy of Men Only and told to 'take it easy' for a few days. "I'm not going to rest until I get full compensation from the Police" moaned Mr Cox as he furiously ripped the head off it for the umpteenth time."I have contacted one of them accident compensation firms off the telly, you know the ones, no win no fee,and they are pretty sure I have a good case, I'll have those bastards that's for sure!" A police spokesperson, Winston Umbugu Churchill said, "Mr Cox does not have a leg to stand on, the officer in question was merely trying out the Taser to demonstrate to his colleague how easy it renders felons helpless Mr Cox should not have got in his way!"