Written by Dogooder Dave
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Topics: Pope, Marriage

Monday, 11 April 2005

The phoney war was over today with Prime Minister Brown and sidekick George W Blair taking centre stage, Prince Charles' funeral and the marriage of famed pigeon fancier Pope John Paul II to his long time love Camilla Parker Bowles, becoming a distant memory.

In a scene reminiscent of the couples' electioneering kickstart in 2001 when they stunned a school hall audience with their professions of the love that dare not speak its' name, Brown and G.W.B skipped hand in hand to an abandoned puppy sanctuary in deepest Birmingham.

Hotly followed by a poop scoop hungry press pack, the late middle aged lovers were seen to fondle several cute pooches before plumping for their favourite, a mongrel, quaintly named Rover.
Rover, while no spring chicken himself, has had a chequered past having been briefly adopted by Germans some years ago.It is believed that his German owners had only wanted to milk him for all he was worth, dog cheese being a highly desirable delicacy amongst the hoi poloi of Bavaria.
He was then taken in by a rather shifty looking group of gentlemen, their true scoundrel nature being exemplified by the gang leaders preference for going around tieless. The ne'er do wells did make a donation of ten British Pounds to the dog sanctuary but it is believed that they too milked him, in a most brutal fashion, using his juices for the famed Black Country culinary delight of Tripe a la Creme.
Rovers' misfortunes continued apace with recent advances by a group of Chinese Restauranteurs seeking to popularise the haute cuisine of their Korean cousins. It is believed that they planned to open a chain of fast food Rover cheese shops in time for the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

After lengthy negotiations between the Chinese and the Gang the occidental cheesemongers concluded that Rovers days of wine and glory in the cheese industry were near over and the poor puppy was unceremoniously dumped on a Westminster doorstep Sunday last.

The last two days has seen many a tear being shed for little Rover and the country can celebrate todays' heartwarming news that Rover will be allowed to live for the next week.

President Camilla Parker Brown and Princess G.W.B are now thought to have taken off for their Scottish country retreat to play with their new puppy having generously donated £6.5M to the dog sanctuary owners. The sanctuary wardens are said to be happily laughing their way to the bank stopping en route to throw some scraps to any gutter dwelling mongrels they happen to stand on.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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