In an audacious move the Coalition Government has established the ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) to replace the old BBC. This new organisation, to be run by Murdoch & Son follows the ennoblement of Rupert Murdoch who has become Lord Murdoch of Sky High.
The Queen, a lover of the Commonwealth, is said to be delighted at the move. She has implemented her rarely used power of Royal Dispensation to allow an Australian to become a peer, as his fellow citizen Dame Edna Everidge did some years ago. Lord Murdoch has become Governor General of the ABC.
Murdoch's first move, made to appease some uneasy murmurs of disapproval, has been to appoint Noel Edmonds to the new post of Cultural Leader at the ABC. Edmonds has become Lord Edmonds of Brain Dead and he will be dealing (or not dealing, guess which for up to £50,000)with day to day planning. Our Nobel Noel, as his friends now call him, has managed to persuade Dame Everidge to coax her friend, the Australian Cultural attache, to assist with cultural matters.
Government Minister Jeremy Haunted told this reporter today:
'This development is but part of our vigourous plan to create a cultural desert which will be the envy of the uncivilised world. By progressive steps the slipshod and over paid old BBC executives will be replaced by young Aussies who know a thing or four about cricket.'
In future the licence fee will be gradually reduced to be replaced by advertisements. 'These adverts will be tastefully tailored to allow programmes a place between them' Lord Edmonds asssured us.
Coalition Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg is leading the Liberal Democrat's enthusiastic support for these historic developments. 'A new era of civil liberty is dawning' he enthused 'no more top/down fussy interference from Auntie. We will also save enough money to allow us to shelve our euthanasia programme for the elederly.'