London - (BP Mess): You can blame the austerity-driven mothballing of the Queen's Fright - er...Flight! - for the humiliation.
On Monday UK Prime Monster David Cameron takes the redeye to Washington on British budget carrier SqueeziJet.
That means no ermine-lined on-board lavatory seat and no Royal Mile High Club vibrating trampoline, drinks cabinet, widescreen tv or complementary slut massage service.
Instead the PM will be hunkering down in Economy with the
hoi-poloi, accompanied by his heavily pregnant wife Sam, 100 political staff, a posse of special protection cops, two hairdressers, a manicurist, Boris Johnson's wife's tarot reader, an NHS psychiatrist and an official Foreign Orifice translator/interpreter.
On the White House menu will be BP, the Lockerbie Bomber and the psychotic relationship between Tony Blair and his bloodbrother Muammar Gaddafi.
Spoof sources learned today that the real agenda will be Obama's insistence that the UK arrests it own KGB/MI6 hornet's nest of double agents.
A recent US trip by Dim-Eatery Medvedev resulted in the dramatic bust of Anna Chapman and her evil coterie of Russian spies.
Vanessa Perroncel is 29.