Ghostly sources have revealed that the new St Peter of the dark side is none other than the former Newcastle night club bouncer and police fugitive Raoul Moat.
"Lucifer is delighted to have such an experienced doorman manning the gates of hell", reveals our source. "There was some worry that the evilness of armagedon was being diluted after an influx of minor offenders slipped the net into eternal hell and damnation.
Earlier this year Eastenders villain Archie Mitchell is rumored to have made his way to the darkside. "Lucifer was furious that hell was being hijacked by fictional soap stars, diluting the evilness of the fires of damnation - With an experienced doorman like Moat taking care of things - only the most evil will be admitted"
Famous residents of hell include Tyrant Adolf Hitler, Gloucester murderer Fred West and fourth century warrior Atilla the Hun.