Written by IainB
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Thursday, 15 July 2010

image for Kate Moss "Tell All" Reveals What Triggered her Anorexia
Kate Moss has never lived in a Thermos Flask

Supermodel, Kate Moss, IQ 45, has revealed in an in-depth interview with Shallow Magazine how she got and overcame her anorexia, believing it will help others who are in the situation she was in (but isn't in any more, in case her lawyers are reading, again).

"I blame my doctor when I was a young girl," said Moss, no relation of Stirling Moss, the racing driver. "I overheard him talking to my dad and Uncle Stirling that they weren't fat as long as they could see their penis when weeing."

Moss, who is not a member of Mossad, despite the name, looked sad for a moment before continuing. "I realised that I had never seen my penis when I was weeing, which meant I was grossly overweight, despite them saying I was at the doctors because I was too thin."

Moss, who is not from Moss Side in Manchester, then started a strict dietary regime which involved eating only eleven peas, once a week. However, no matter how much weight she lost, she still couldn't see her penis when weeing.

So how did Moss, who has never been bitten by a mosquito, turn her life around?

"It was a friend of mine," said Moss, who has only ever once visited a mosque, and that only for a publicity shoot. "She's incredibly bright, you might know her, Carol Vorderman? Is that how you spell it? Anyway, she told me that women don't have penises. And ever since then, I've been able to eat normally."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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