In a pitiful action Britain has given in to Russian pressure and stopped the beautiful spy Anna Chapman coming back to Britain.
Her lover, Raoul Moat, knew she wasn't going to return and took his own life after being teased about it by heartless policemen.
But the whole country is shocked by the news that this gorgeous, beautiful, sexy, lovely, exciting, mysterious delight is not going to come back to these shores.
James Bond is among those picketing the Prime Minister. 'Whatever is going to happen to all the stories of adventure and intrigue if the top Russian spy can't come back to our shores?' he asked.
The Russians, particularly Prime Minister Putin, have put in several words which mean Britain had no option but to ban sweet Anna from our shores.
'To preserve world peace we had to take this hard decision' explained Nick Clegg 'when you are in Government you have to do things like this. We had missiles trained on London. We have had to sacrifice our dear Anna to the Russian monster'.
However, a secret message just received from a source who cannot be named, suggests that Anna will return in disguise.
So, keep your eyes skinned, we may see Anna again!