Written by IainB
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Topics: Diet, Ulrika Jonsson

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

image for Ulrika Jonsson reveals how she got so skinny
Far too fat - MUST DIET!

Ulrika Jonsson, Celebrity Big Brother winner, star of Shooting Stars, Swedish hottie and former lover of Sven Goren Erikson, is to reveal how she shed ten stone (sixty three kilos) in a new book due out in Autumn.

Last year, Jonsson felt that she weighed far too much at ten stone four and had to shed a few pounds and revamp her sagging image after malicious comments in a popular celebrity orientated magazine that has to remain nameless, not for legal reasons but because it's rubbish. Cosmetic surgery was just the start for Jonsson, who spent eleven thousand pounds reshaping and toning a perfectly acceptable body into a stunning figure.

Since then, Jonsson has continued to lose weight by using a remarkable new diet that she has invented. Full details will be in her book, but there are tantalising details revealed in a leaked copy.

Each of the pages are edible.

At the top of each page is written the day of the diet, and the vitamins and minerals that the page contains, plus the number of calories.

The page is ripped out, and as the dieter feels hungry, they nibble on the page during the day. As the diet is designed to last for a year, there are three hundred and sixty five main pages. At the back of the book is a snack appendix, which contains sixty blank pages. These snack pages have to be spread over the course of the diet for those days when the hunger is just too much.

By the end of the diet, the dieter will be able to appear on Good Morning Britain looking like a coat hanger with blonde hair.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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