Written by Gazzer G
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Tuesday, 13 July 2010

Surveyors are expecting house prices to fall in the coming months due to Ana Matronic of Scissor Sisters fame.

Research commissioned for Andrews Estate Agents in Burnley showed a distinct link between Matronic's activity and the sale of terraced homes in the area.

A spokesman stated, "When they released Take Your Mama in 2004 we noticed that Matronic actually sung a bit and provided genuine input to their performances, this was at the time we were comfortably shifting 2 up 2 downers right across to Wakefield".

He explained further, "Compare this with the current hit Fire With Fire, where Shears is singing and jumping all over the place whilst she just stands there doing nowt. We can't even sell one bedroom flats now".

Statisticians are currently poring over the evidence and, in the meantime, the band's management team are making an effort to downplay this controversy, pointing out that their client doesn't wish to stifle the economy and is keen to see interest rates remain at record lows.

This is all poor comfort to the residents of Burnley. When asked about a proposed house move, one of the locals who wished to remain anonymous simply screamed "That ginger cow she's wrecked our hopes" and stormed off in tears.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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