The coalition Government has announced the first in a series of measures that will lead to the hammering home of nails into the lid of the NHS coffin.
Within 3 years time, the ConDems have announced that they will be putting all the cash into the hands of Greedy Pricks - or as they are more affectionately know...GP's.
New Health Minister Andrew Lamesly has told parliament that he believes it will 'cut the red tape' of healthcare delivery...and will 'cut the life expectancy of patients' thereby further reducing the 'burden' on the NHS.
"GPs are not the incompetent, ill-equipped bunch of fools they first appear" said the Chair of some tatty GP body " they have had this power for years under another scheme already...and seeing as that didn't work, we are getting ALL the cash now".
It has been widely tipped that given the vociferous bunch of dick-head Rottweilers they are, GP receptionists will now handle the cash and the NHS is now in their hands...and you know what a bastard they are like just to get an appointment...made even more difficult by the 'Appointment Time Guarantee' being abolished.
Aneurin Bevan was asked for comment but was too busy turning in his grave.