Written by matthatt
Print this
Topics: NHS

Monday, 12 July 2010

image for National Hilton Service, Government sells off hospitals to Paris
I would like a bigger cock please, will this be enough?

The NHS in England is to undergo a major restructuring in one of the biggest shake-ups in its history, the government has announced.

Hospitals are to be moved out of the NHS and given to a famous hotel group under the new umbrella name Hilton Care, this is to be spear headed by Hotel heiress Paris Hilton holding a comically over sized syringe and wearing a sexy, low cut, high legged, nurses outfit in an attempt to distract everyone from what is happening.

All health tax contributions will now go straight to the hotel chain, who will be looking over NHS records and comparing these with who has actually paid tax.
It had been noted that some people pay taxes and NI contributions for years and never see a doctor or go to a hospital, where as others have spent their lives on state benefits and are draining the system by constantly requiring medical care.

Under the new proposals, so as to ensure everyone receives the same level of service, no one at all will get any health care, unless they can fulfil one of the following criteria:- are in the government,
Very rich,
Work in a bank (but not the sort with a counter)
Own a hospital
Can clean through three layers from a gob-stopper in under a minute and have this verified by a Member of Parliament.

Make matthatt's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 plus 2?

9 7 3 8
41 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more