Written by Sarah Jane Edward
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Monday, 12 July 2010

image for Daryl B Kidnapped By Iraqi insurgents.

EASY WALKERS FACE Daryl B has been kidnapped by Iraqi insurgents.

A ranson has been demanded by gun wielding maniacs wearing tea towels on their heads to conceal their identity.

In a video released yesterday showing Daryl, one of the kidnappers ask's him to speak to the camera, however Daryl whips off his jeans and thong and proceeds to tell the camera crew: ''Welcome to babe station, just call the number on screen guys and you will get through to me''.

Confusion between a few masked men is heard in the back round.
One shout's ''ask for theee money'', to which Daryl replies ''Fuck off eh, I've no been on meh patch on the Arbroath Road since you cunts took me fae Burger King on Friday night.''

After filming, a kidnapper passes out, to which Daryl steals his phone to update his Puss-book.

He said: ''Having a brilliant time somewhere in Dundee. Nae drink left, cunts have swallowed it ah. Raging for a cup of tea, should be home soon.''

First Minister of Scotland Alex Salmond has said that he will do everything in his power (Not like the power-rangers in the colourful suits) To get Daryl back home to his family.

In 2007 Daryl and the First Minister had a furious bust up over who paid on expenses for Tampax compact, to which Daryl raged 'Gone take your puss for a shite'.

It made headlines all around the world, to which Katie Price had to pay a high glossy magazine for her wedding to Peter Stink Bomb.

Catch all the latest on Daryl and the kidnap at all the w's dot banging babes dot com.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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