Written by Lady Godiva
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Sunday, 11 July 2010

image for MPs soon to be shown yellow and red cards
This may soon be a common sight in The House of Commons

Tired of MPs yelling at each other during debates, much like children on the schoolyard, John Berkow,Speaker of The House of Commons is said to be thinking of following the methods of reprimanding individuals used by football referees.

John Berkow is reported to be giving this 'method' a trial run. MPs will get 2 verbal warnings if they interrupt a fellow MP, start name-calling, booing,or banging on their tables.

A 3rd warning will earn the MP a yellow card. A 4th will result in Mr. Berkow producing the red card and the MP shown the red card will be led out of the chamber and suspended for the next 2 weeks from attending any political event.

It's not known at press time, whether there will be 'assistant speakers' equipped with flags, posted around the room. This is still under consideration.

MPs may soon be wearing colourful kits to brighten up the political 'arena' and draw more viewers. Should this 'pass' they will be issued with both a 'home kit' to be worn in Parliament, and an 'away' kit to be worn when carrying out 'outside duties'.

Most MPs admit they are growing tired of the old, navy, dark grey and black suits they've been wearing for decades.

As far as the 'carding system' goes...one MP said, "It's about bloody time".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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