M25 Corridor - (BOGOF News): A secret MI5 whorehouse - er...safehouse! - debriefing has stunned anti-terror cops.
Two of the Anna Chapman-swop Russian spies have grassed up a dissolute band of renegade organic produce peddlers behind Charles' Dacha Originals.
This flagship convenience food operation has been top of anti-terror cops' list of 7/7 masterminds but was deemed untouchable due to lack of concrete evidence.
All that could now change.
Hunkered down in the interrogation facility nestling in the bleak post-industrial wasteland also known as Slough the two men's evidence is dismantling the entire Russian spying infrastructure.
The turncoats had been expected to name a hornets' nest of traditional KGB operatives involved in high-stakes poker espionage.
Instead they have confirmed every British housewife's very worst fears:
A homegrown cabal of traitors running some of the UK's leading supermarkets is behind terror attacks previously blamed on the IRA, Provisional IRA, Real IRA and the IRA's Asian shopfront of Al Qaeda.
And the proof of the pudding lies in a Freedom of Disinformation Act 15 year gagging order about Pope John Paul II's son Vlad 'The Impala' Putin.
Oleg Penkovsky is 109.