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Saturday, 10 July 2010

image for Raoul Moat Dead - Fugitive Shoots Himself Following Tense Stand-Off
A Man With An Over And Under Shotgun - But Not Raoul Moat

Just in - Raoul Moat, the fugitive gunman at the centre of Britain's most extensive manhunt is dead. Reports coming in suggest that Mr Moat shot himself following a tense stand-off with armed police officers by the riverbank in Rothbury.

TV coverage suggested that one shot was fired, and that Mr Moat was subsequently taken to Newcastle General Hospital.

Sources say that the gurney they wheeled him in on was heavily bloodstained, and that a towel, or sheet was covering the man's face.

The latest we have is that he was dead on arrival at the hospital, and that no police officers were injured in the incident, which occurred in the early hours of this morning, in heavy rain.

Which must be a terrible disappointment for the TV news channels, because they didn't quite get the footage which they were undoubtedly hoping for. Even the Sky helicopter was grounded, as a five mile radius air exclusion zone was set up around the village of Rothbury.

Some enterprising press hounds - notably the ones from the BBC - managed to establish phone links with people whose dwellings overlooked the stand-off, and zoom lens shots were the order of the day.

But they got zip - other than sound recordings of a gunshot and some shouting. Which would probably have pleased Mr Moat, as when he pulled the trigger, it was too late to make this morning's papers.

Some commentators have expressed deep satisfaction that Sky News reporter Anna Botting, was not at the scene, following her ghoulish reportage in the Derrick Bird gun rampage in neighbouring Cumbria.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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