Written by The Medium Cheese

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Topics: News, Raoul Moat

Saturday, 10 July 2010

The blanket 24 hour coverage of the hunt for Raoul Moat has blocked coverage of other stories. Consequently, some newsworthy incidents have had to be postponed.

The top five stories waiting to break this week include:

- Prime Minister Marries Leopardskin Handbag;
- Firework Eating Boy's Belch Injures Vicar;
- Katla, The Much Bigger Icelandic Volcano, Eats Horse;
- Bill Turnbull Hits Cameraman With Carol Kirkwood;
- Michael Jackson Found In Space.

All these events have been postponed due to what regular newshog HRH Queen Elizabeth II will call "procrastination" by police, and the obsessional conduct of TV news crews, literally spending whole days speculating about one news item, rather than reporting things that had gone on.

It is hoped that most of the incidents can happen over this weekend, although finding Jacko will be delayed for several months until the next scheduled launch of an Arianne rocket.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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