Written by IainB
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Friday, 9 July 2010

image for Derek Acorah accused of eating Paul the psychic octopus
Don't Eat Me, Mr Acorah!

Sensational psychic, Derek Acorah, turned out to be quite a good chef when he appeared on Good Morning Liverpool this morning, serving up a dish of calamari with garlic and lemon on a best of schnitzel.

It was while the hosts, Fill and Phern, were tucking into the delicious dish that news broke that Paul the Psychic octopus, the Cephalopod which correctly predicted all of Germany's results, including their loss to Spain, had been stolen from his tank.

Another guest on the show was Detective Inspector Constable, on asking for public ideas for catching Raoul Moat as the police are all out. Constable put the clues together quickly and arrested Acorah live on national TV for the theft of an eight limbed celebrity aquatic animal, the only offence still punishable by death in Liverpool.

Constable accused Acorah of eliminating the psychic competition, despite Constable being one of the guests to have eaten the octopus.

Acorah denied the charges claiming that the Calamari wasn't even octopus, but squid. Due to the lack of evidence, which Fill and Phern had described as 'Delicious'.

The case is currently on hold while the forensic teams wait for fresh evidence to be produced by the guests who ate the Calamari. Some circumstantial evidence has already emerged, with the guests all developing psychic powers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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