Premier League official Howard Webb has been chosen to referee Sunday's World Cup final between Netherlands and Spain in Johannesburg, Fifa has confirmed.
However, following the recent outrage in which a clear England goal was disallowed, Fifa have agreed that Webb has access to electronic wizardry to support his decision making powers. He is currently on a flight from Cape Town to London Heathrow, from where he will be take the Piccadilly line to Hounslow East, grab a quick Costa coffee then hop on a bus to Uxbridge Shopping Centre where he will sit in Currys Digital to officiate.
'This makes perfect sense' stated Mr Webb, 'at least I'll have a clue as to what's happening. None of that running up and down the pitch it was doing my head in'.
A spokesman for Currys Digital (motto-'our staff know bugger all') disputed the claim that this was a publicity stunt, although he added that the Sony 42 inch x15c model was currently on sale.